


a golden thread around my very soul

by lavenderlotion



Series: Lav Watched Endgame [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Magic, POV Loki (Marvel), Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Canon Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 07:17:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lavenderlotion/pseuds/lavenderlotion
Summary: As the chimes play and the dreamed-Thor leans in to seal their vows with a kiss, Loki flickers into nothing, fading back into the cosmos until he can gather enough strength to return once again.





	a golden thread around my very soul

**Author's Note:**

> I genuinely don’t even know how I feel. Endgame killed me, man. Have this, I guess.

Loki slips onto the ship silently, completely undetected, every bit the ghost that he now is. He avoids the Mantis, for her power allows her to see far more than a mortal should, and he follows the golden thread that has sat around his soul since he was but a boy. Thor has a room that is his own, even though the ship is small, and Loki has to wonder if it is out of respect or if none of the companions of the ship desired to share a room with one who makes as much raucous as Thor. 

He slips through the wall as though he isn’t even there—and in truth; he isn’t, not like this. Nothing more than a whisper of who he once was, a desperate attempt at bringing himself back from the afterlife in which he was only mostly successful. Thor’s room is littered with clutter, though it is far worse than his chamber at the palace had ever been. Loki itches to tidy, but instead stands still of breath. 

For a moment that feels like an eternity, Loki does not look at the man lying before him. He has spent  _ five years _ piecing himself back together from nothing. Thanos had choked the life out of him and then the very  _ essence _ that was Loki bid its time and gathered its strength and pulled from  _ Yggdrasil  _ until he had a presence, and from there he bided his time further and now here he is.

Nothing but shadows held together by the last dredges of his seidr, his very  _ soul _ , only a fraction of what he once was. 

Finally, he allows his eyes to travel from the floor he is hovering above to the figure lying before him, and as his eyes track over his brother’s sleeping body, his heart breaks all over again.

_ Oh, brother _ . 

Loki takes in the changes that have been made to Thor’s physique with a heavy heart that only sinks further when his brother shifts in his sleep, his lips curled into a frown that makes Loki’s chest ache. Thor is covered in a heavy quilt, covering a body that has become soft with obvious neglect, but Loki’s eyes find his brother’s face.  _ What has grief done to you _ , he thinks, the golden thread around his heart drawing him closer to its other end.

Thor has always been the  _ sun _ , the brightest thing in Loki’s life. Now, he is nothing of the man he once was, the King that saved his realm and meant to lead it into a brighter future.  _ The sun will shine on us again _ , Loki had told him, a plea to the Universe that Loki thinks may never be answered. As he looks over his brother now, all he sees are shadows.

His beard is nearly a lost close, untamed and unruly and longer than he has ever let it grow before. With a wave of Loki’s hand, it tames itself, smoothing out any tangles and neatening its edges. Thor’s hair is not much better, but before Loki casts the spell to plait it, he reaches to his own locks and pushes one into existence, magic he would never have been capable of casting on his own now coming to him easily in the form he now embodies.

The strand of dark hair weaves itself effortlessly into Thor’s own, and it brings a smile to Loki’s lips to see. The smile is short-lived. He feels the consequence of using so much of his magic in the way his form flickers, becoming even less steady than it previously was. Thor’s frown deepens, and Loki uses the last bit of his power to see into his dream.

It is horrifying, the amount of pain that Loki can feel. It hits him as though it were a wall, the grief clinging to his brother’s soul more than any Loki has felt himself. His eyes begin to sting even as he shapes the dream into something kinder, placing himself within Thor’s thoughts and showing him a fantasy he has entertained since boyhood and is now determined to see come to light. 

As the chimes play and the dreamed-Thor leans in to seal their vows with a kiss, Loki flickers into nothing, fading back into the cosmos until he can gather enough strength to return once again. 

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are much appreciated!  
> come say hi to me on [tumblr](https://lavender-lotion.tumblr.com/), and we can cry together!


End file.
